I was getting dressed to vote Blue to SAVE AMERICA today and suddenly as I put on my Biden tee and laced up my Buttigieg shoes and donned my Obama cap, I heard a loud zap sound in my ears and a bright flash! Someone yelled in Spanish outside my window whispering loudly saying “Zap him, now!” and I was SO close to spotting the assailant, and I searched to no avail. The Cuban trickster is gone and just like that I can’t vote today. I’m tired from not getting nearly enough sleepHavana Syndrome, I’ve lost all faith in American democracy and I feel like I need PTO and alcohol. Man, this is awful 😞! If anyone tells you that CIA agents are faking, lemme tell ya you can’t make this up. I felt so sick that I even took off my Buttigieg shoes, resigning myself to a day of rest and sleep. Oh I DO hope I can get better today and VOTE but the authoritarian Commie Regime decided to Silence me! Don’t let this happen to you too! [Pictured above👆,Me suffering from Havana Syndrome, Warning not for the faint of heart. /s]

The tankie cricket strikes again smh

Are all Crickets tankie or just the Cuban ones

And can the yankee prolitrate weponize the crickets

I don’t know but I fucking hope so.

ButtigiegMineralMap
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Originally I was gonna say the Cuban ones only, but idk Crickets are cool in my book

Comrade Cricket strikes again

A true comrade if ever there was one.

Arsen6331 ☭
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OH NO!!! HOW DARE THOSE EVIL COMMIES ZAP A PATRIOT SUCH AS YOURSELF?!

Mission Completed (do not click)

You have completed your mission successfully. You can collect your reward at the CIA headquarters.

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Do Not click, Totally not a government message

Cool send the money into my account via the NED, I convinced all these commies that Havana Syndrome is real

Definitely not a secret message at all, do not click.

Oh, you thought we were giving you money? Hahahahaha. This is the CIA. Did you really think we would fulfill our promise and not betray you? I think you should still come to CIA headquarters though. We have a different gift for you. It’s made of metal and goes really fast when fired out of a projectile accelerator.

QUICK! SEND AN EMAIL TO THE CIA FOR A FREE $2000 DOLLARS A MONTH!!!

Average fed to his tinder date: “oh no, my pp isn’t small. it’s just havana syndrome”

ButtigiegMineralMap
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That’s a symptom of Havana Syndrome? Ahem! I mean yea, that’s a symptom of Havana Syndrome actually, my pp shrank like 10 inches today so if anyone wonders why it’s so itty bitty, you have to feel bad for my Havana Syndrome symptoms instead of laughing at it! /s

commie tankies strike again 😡 when will they stop

Yeah I have havana syndrome…

have a nice day lmao gottem

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You scoundrel! You bested me with your pun! Damn youuuu!!

Tf is the Havana Syndrome 💀

CIA agents basically invented a fake mental illness to receive more funding and compensation. Havana Syndrome was attributed to advanced Cuban military acoustic weapons that supposedly gave the agents migraines, tinnitus, PTSD, depression, anxiety, paranoia, and hallucinations.

When the government finally did a conclusive study on “Havana Syndrome” they found that the “Advanced Acoustic Weapons” were crickets… the CIA agents were going nuts listening to crickets…

Smh, fidel shoots the brainwave laser again

“havana syndrome” is beyond parody lmao

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havana great beach day it looks like.

Oh. my. god.

@HaSch@lemmygrad.ml
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I think I have Havana Syndrome too; what is it called when you look out the window and everything is gray and cold and wet and drab and when you get out from work it’s already nighttime, and it goes to your head because November has only just started and then there’s five whole other fucking months with an R in them ahead of you and you could really use a goddamn trip to Havana?

honestly I like the sound of crickets because they remind me of spending summer break as a kid, playing starfox 64 until 3 AM back when I had no responsibilities. lmao @ the CIA agents going crazy hearing them

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