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Cake day: Feb 13, 2022

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she already said everything i wanted to. :P


can’t really think of any title right now that can answer your question. it’s tricky because i think there loads of “group stories” which, as you said, stillmay fall in the chosen one category.

i think another issue to think about when discussing stories is the idea of “conflict” and how we are brought up to believe it is the only thing that can push any story forward and every fucking editor note will always be about conflict conflict conflict! hence, when seen in that frame, it is way easier to have one conflict that can be solved by one person and push for that until the end.

however, as ursula le guin wrote in this beautiful essay, the first step (and victory) is to kill this old and patriarcal way of looking at storytelling.

sorry, might have gone a bit off-topic, but because i really like the discussion and i think it can be broaden up.


even if he’s not the chosen one, shevek is basically the only and main one of the story.


already the fact that something is categorised for men or women it means that said thing is targeted to empower and uphold (in this specific case) binarism and, you know, usual patriarchy and whatnot.

in fact, rom coms in general and 500 days in particular are very problematic. 500 days can only have leftish values if seen through a liberal lens.

if we have to find a source and an answer for the question asked in the title, is that women, even when white, cis, straight and able, are already one box away from the dominant category. hence, they’re victims of more oppressions than the average man and have to work harder than the average man if they want to join the dominant party.

and this can be easily seen also in anarchists and leftist circles where men tend to be the main abusers and perpetrators of patriarcal and capitalist values and the main reason/cause for groups to dismantle/break apart.


so, well, i thought things changed for a while, but eventually they did not. at the next week meeting, i might going to voice my concerns (internalised hierarchies, unwelcoming space) and then take a break for a while.

we’ll see what happens.

i’m close to burnout anyway and a situation like this doesn’t help at all.


a different topic that someone will use to discredit these “elders”

i can’t see that happening any time soon tbh lol

putting new people in front roles so that they “can learn”

that actually has been suggested a couple of times, by the elders themselves, but it hasn’t happened yet. perhaps, i should push for it again? it might be a good attempt. specifically, it was a workshop on “how to be a facilitator” since, it has happened many times that no one (beside the elders) has ever volunteered to facilitate. which, in my opinion, it def has to do with these mixed feelings of worshipping/intimidation towards them.


i'm part of a relatively new group. this group was born after the training of a bigger and older collective, but it's been said that the group, since the beginning, is autonomous from the other. the group is not openly an anarchist group (also because probably not everyone identifies as one), but it is definitely an abolitionist group with a non-hierarchical organising. as part of this group, there are also two members of the older and bigger group. this was a great thing for us at the beginning because it kind of helped start us up. however, now things are getting a bit sour. since the beginning, due to their "louder" voices they always managed to steer the group towards decisions and path they preferred. a thing which is happening still now especially when the group is involved in actions where they do nothing but backup the bigger and older group. on top of that, there is some sort of "internalised worshipping and leadership culture" constantly coming up from the other members. no one ever actually challenge the elders and, by never feeling challenged, they probably not even notice what they're doing. i've seen people literally step down from the facilitator role the moment one of these elders entered the room. i'm writing this here as a first post because it's something that's obsessing me. right now, i just think i want to leave the group since i cannot stand following a guru, but i would also like to discuss the thing with anyone who has been in a similar situation and managed to get out of it. so, please, hmu. :)